The Water gets hot very gradually, and as far as the frog is concerned, there is no one point where it gets dramatically different or bad enough to jump out.

The first day without you is painful in a way that is almost exquisite. I imagine quitting smokers must feel like this, or crash-dieters – the early determination, where the loss of what you have given up is replaced with the adrenaline of denial.

The dead don’t bother haunting graveyards- they are the last place on earth they need to haunt. The living do that job for them with their messy combination of grief, desire, imagination. There is nothing in this cemetery. It’s just an empty field.

It’s a deal we all make, I remember thinking. What kind of life will I live with this person? All relationships are a balancing act, after all, each individual perched on either side of a seesaw. Your husband snores. Your wife leaves wet towels on the floor. But he brings you tea every morning. She’s a terrific cook. All unions, all associations, every partnership- they all have their benefits and their drawbacks, their subscription fees.

You should remind yourself that what you love is mortal, that what you love is not your own. It is granted to you the present while, and not irrevocably, nor for ever, but like a fig or a bunch of grapes in the appointed season and if you long for it in the winter, you are a fool.

Self-awareness: it is one of the chief bonuses of advancing age. It is our consolation prize.

Sometimes the past seemed like enough, in comparison with the disappointments of the present.

And here’s the thing- when we have someone to say that- we feel annoyed with them. We grumble back. We have no idea how much we would miss having someone who has a bit of a go at us if they weren’t there- irritation is a form of love and love the seedbed in which it flourishes. If we didn’t care, we wouldn’t be irritated.

There’s a certain sort of a man whose every charm lies in his predictability.

She talks about men in the same amiable, unsurprised way that people talk about the weather – men are a kind of constant. a background note. They are useful objects for meaningless chatter when there is nothing else more important to talk about.